HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

This is not mine but I just had to share as I thought it was brilliant!!!




HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid
term.


The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor
shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time..
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today.


Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look
at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.


This gives two possibilities:


1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.


2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.


So which is it?


If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct.......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my
God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+